I should not be writing this post. Not in 2012. Not when you grew up watching The Cosby Show with your parents every week (don't laugh, it helped). Not when your aunt came out of the closet years ago and her house didn't burst into flames and Thanksgiving dinner has been just as good. And not when you say hello every morning to a man in your office building who happens to wear a turban. Goodness, everybody and their eight-year-old has a smartphone; you wouldn't think we would still be so ignorant about some things.
But it remains that I continue to receive emails from friends and acquaintances that they think are funny enough to share w/ me and others. One recent email from a good friend conflated Muslims with Terrorists (as in "Muslim=Terrorist"). Another recent email labeled one race as "lazy" and bemoaned the plight of working whites who have to support Others. No, not at all funny. They are offensive and racist.
What? You want to argue that? Really? Let's drag it out into the bright sunshine then--can I read it to your boss? Your spouse? Your mother? How about your son or daughter? You OK w/ that? Then why are you still forwarding bigoted emails? Just. Stop. You don't have to pontificate about it. You don't have to fall asleep every night reading Cornel West or bell hooks, but you can at least stop bigotry from spreading its ugliness.
Sometimes I think they are just trying to get a rise out of me (I sorta wish that were the case). The alternative is even more disconcerting though than that--they actually believe what they're sending around. It always reminds me of one of the late George Carlin's routines when he talks about why he wasn't a racist: there are plenty of reasons to hate someone on an individual basis that he didn't have to hate any one group collectively.
Surprisingly, the emails most often come from college-educated individuals who work in environments that I'm sure would frown upon or at least would not want to be associated w/ such vile sentiments. The fact that I receive such emails from college-educated folk makes the offense even more egregious--not that college-educated folk are superior, but if anybody should know better, it's them. Well, actually whether you went to college or not doesn't matter, we all know better, don't we? We all know it's wrong--I'm sure folks check to make sure they didn't send it to Rick because he has a black wife. It's the contemporary parallel to your Uncle Frank who used to look over his shoulder before telling you one of his funny "colored" jokes--haha, yuckety-yuck . . . Yuck.
I often call them out--the people who send me emails of what we used to call off-color humor. But I don't always; other times I simply hit delete. Is that enough though? Don't I have an obligation as an educator and activist to walk the walk and to let them know it's not alright to send racist emails to me or to anybody, for that matter? It's never comfortable. I don't want to be that guy. But every time I hit delete or I don't say something, I then become part of the problem, don't I? Intentionally or not, I am helping to perpetuate racism. Or, at least I'm not helping to end racism and bigotry.
So, what to do? Educate? Nudge? Confront? These are friends, people you would like if you met them. They don't fly Confederate flags in the back of their Dodge pickups; they're not burning crosses and wearing bed sheets. But associating followers of Islam as an equivalent to terrorists or making ugly stereotypes about minorities is stupid, ugly, and wrong (and I do I really need to type that? Don't we all know that by now?).
Sometimes, polite, non-confrontational folks will tell you that's just the way the offenders were brought up-- they just think it's funny/they don't really believe that stuff/or, hey, it's America, everyone's entitled to his or her opinion, right?
Garbage.
Aren't we just then excusing odious behavior and beliefs? I mean, we learn to control our bodily impulses in polite company, in job interviews, on dates--is it too much to expect someone who grew up in the 70s hearing "black jokes," thinking it was OK, but to now know better? Don't we expect ourselves to learn, improve, evolve as we grow older, more mature--not only as individuals but as a society?
Many folks have written about the anonymity that the internet affords people, that it emboldens them to say things they normally wouldn't. That might be way of explanation but it still doesn't excuse the practice of perpetuating bigotry.
Maybe you don't buy this; maybe I'm making too much of a big deal about it. Tell me, where's the upside? What benefit to society do you hope to bring by sending these ugly emails along to others, who in turn may pass them onto others? What kind of person intentionally does something that at the minimum makes others uncomfortable? You don't think our society, our world would be better places if we all were more tolerant, more accepting of Others?
And for goodness sakes, pick your battles. This isn't about political correctness run amok--perpetuating stereotypes is bigotry plain and simple. Hurting other people is hurting other people, not succumbing to the pc police. You want to rail against immigration, have at it, I guess (although it probably makes you a hypocrite considering grandpa Luigi came over on the boat. I know, I know--he did it the right way . . . or did he?).
Nobody wants a finger wagged at them or to be the finger wagger, but we have a moral obligation to confront bigotry when we see it. Maybe you're not comfortable confronting a friend about his or her emails; OK--but at least you can ask your friend to not forward any of these types of emails to you. If pressed, you can simply reply that you're not comfortable w/ this type of thinking/that you would be embarrassed if they came to light/how would you explain the contained sentiment to your children? (that is, unless you're trying to raise little racist babies, I would like to think we all aspire higher for our children if not for ourselves).
Here's the problem--the bigot who sends the email isn't reading right now. He (rarely is it a "she") thinks I'm talking about someone else, or he thinks it's his prerogative to send whatever the hell he wants to. OK. But we don't have to participate. We don't have to intentionally or unintentionally spread racism by receiving racist email. I guess you could just hit delete, but better yet, hit reply and let him know what you think of his "funny" email. The first time hit reply sender only. The second time, you hit reply all. Eventually, you'll help him to do what he should have done long ago. Just. Stop.
It's funny what bright sunlight does for one's behavior. I mean, why do you think the Klan wore hoods at night?
But it remains that I continue to receive emails from friends and acquaintances that they think are funny enough to share w/ me and others. One recent email from a good friend conflated Muslims with Terrorists (as in "Muslim=Terrorist"). Another recent email labeled one race as "lazy" and bemoaned the plight of working whites who have to support Others. No, not at all funny. They are offensive and racist.
What? You want to argue that? Really? Let's drag it out into the bright sunshine then--can I read it to your boss? Your spouse? Your mother? How about your son or daughter? You OK w/ that? Then why are you still forwarding bigoted emails? Just. Stop. You don't have to pontificate about it. You don't have to fall asleep every night reading Cornel West or bell hooks, but you can at least stop bigotry from spreading its ugliness.
Sometimes I think they are just trying to get a rise out of me (I sorta wish that were the case). The alternative is even more disconcerting though than that--they actually believe what they're sending around. It always reminds me of one of the late George Carlin's routines when he talks about why he wasn't a racist: there are plenty of reasons to hate someone on an individual basis that he didn't have to hate any one group collectively.
Surprisingly, the emails most often come from college-educated individuals who work in environments that I'm sure would frown upon or at least would not want to be associated w/ such vile sentiments. The fact that I receive such emails from college-educated folk makes the offense even more egregious--not that college-educated folk are superior, but if anybody should know better, it's them. Well, actually whether you went to college or not doesn't matter, we all know better, don't we? We all know it's wrong--I'm sure folks check to make sure they didn't send it to Rick because he has a black wife. It's the contemporary parallel to your Uncle Frank who used to look over his shoulder before telling you one of his funny "colored" jokes--haha, yuckety-yuck . . . Yuck.
I often call them out--the people who send me emails of what we used to call off-color humor. But I don't always; other times I simply hit delete. Is that enough though? Don't I have an obligation as an educator and activist to walk the walk and to let them know it's not alright to send racist emails to me or to anybody, for that matter? It's never comfortable. I don't want to be that guy. But every time I hit delete or I don't say something, I then become part of the problem, don't I? Intentionally or not, I am helping to perpetuate racism. Or, at least I'm not helping to end racism and bigotry.
So, what to do? Educate? Nudge? Confront? These are friends, people you would like if you met them. They don't fly Confederate flags in the back of their Dodge pickups; they're not burning crosses and wearing bed sheets. But associating followers of Islam as an equivalent to terrorists or making ugly stereotypes about minorities is stupid, ugly, and wrong (and I do I really need to type that? Don't we all know that by now?).
Sometimes, polite, non-confrontational folks will tell you that's just the way the offenders were brought up-- they just think it's funny/they don't really believe that stuff/or, hey, it's America, everyone's entitled to his or her opinion, right?
Garbage.
Aren't we just then excusing odious behavior and beliefs? I mean, we learn to control our bodily impulses in polite company, in job interviews, on dates--is it too much to expect someone who grew up in the 70s hearing "black jokes," thinking it was OK, but to now know better? Don't we expect ourselves to learn, improve, evolve as we grow older, more mature--not only as individuals but as a society?
Many folks have written about the anonymity that the internet affords people, that it emboldens them to say things they normally wouldn't. That might be way of explanation but it still doesn't excuse the practice of perpetuating bigotry.
Maybe you don't buy this; maybe I'm making too much of a big deal about it. Tell me, where's the upside? What benefit to society do you hope to bring by sending these ugly emails along to others, who in turn may pass them onto others? What kind of person intentionally does something that at the minimum makes others uncomfortable? You don't think our society, our world would be better places if we all were more tolerant, more accepting of Others?
And for goodness sakes, pick your battles. This isn't about political correctness run amok--perpetuating stereotypes is bigotry plain and simple. Hurting other people is hurting other people, not succumbing to the pc police. You want to rail against immigration, have at it, I guess (although it probably makes you a hypocrite considering grandpa Luigi came over on the boat. I know, I know--he did it the right way . . . or did he?).
Nobody wants a finger wagged at them or to be the finger wagger, but we have a moral obligation to confront bigotry when we see it. Maybe you're not comfortable confronting a friend about his or her emails; OK--but at least you can ask your friend to not forward any of these types of emails to you. If pressed, you can simply reply that you're not comfortable w/ this type of thinking/that you would be embarrassed if they came to light/how would you explain the contained sentiment to your children? (that is, unless you're trying to raise little racist babies, I would like to think we all aspire higher for our children if not for ourselves).
Here's the problem--the bigot who sends the email isn't reading right now. He (rarely is it a "she") thinks I'm talking about someone else, or he thinks it's his prerogative to send whatever the hell he wants to. OK. But we don't have to participate. We don't have to intentionally or unintentionally spread racism by receiving racist email. I guess you could just hit delete, but better yet, hit reply and let him know what you think of his "funny" email. The first time hit reply sender only. The second time, you hit reply all. Eventually, you'll help him to do what he should have done long ago. Just. Stop.
It's funny what bright sunlight does for one's behavior. I mean, why do you think the Klan wore hoods at night?
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